Monday, July 11, 2011

Random Rant - Are You an Adult?

   So many of our younger generation (and a depressing number of more seasoned "grown-ups") seem to be confused about the true characteristics of an adult. They don't really understand what being an adult means. Ask them what adulthood means to them, and they will inevitably say something about freedom. They will be free to do as they please. They can go where they like, do as they wish, refuse to do that which they would prefer to avoid - they're free! Such sadly misinformed young people - so poorly taught by their elders. What they have never learned, even if it was presented to them over and over, is that freedom is not the main characteristic of being an adult. Indeed, it is so far down the list, it may as well be an after thought.

   The only truly free adult is the adult with no ties to family or friends, no obligations to career or co-workers, no responsibilities to children or aging parents...in short, a truly free adult is a person who is utterly alone. True freedom is the freedom to starve in the street, while uncaring strangers step over your failing body. True freedom means that while you owe nobody, and have no responsibilities to anyone, nobody gives a rat's ass about you, either. An adult, a real adult, is a person who meets his obligations, handles her responsibilities, cares about and cares for the people who inhabit their personal world. An adult understands one basic principle that a child, of any age, will never grasp: Take Care of Business! I don't mean business in the career sense, although that is certainly part of the picture, I mean business in the broader sense of the word. Handle the things which need to be handled so that your personal world runs smoothly. Take care of the obligations and responsibilities, the neglect of which will later come back and bite a chunk out of your fat, lazy ass.

You're not sure what I mean? OK, pop quiz!

The situation:

You are in debt to the taxman, your credit card is overdue, you owe a pile of traffic fines, and your best bud rescued your dumb ass a couple weeks ago, cleaning out his savings account to do it. You just got paid, so you can handle the rent, the groceries, the cable bill (you need that late night porn, ya know), and suddenly an uncle you didn't know you had dies and drops a bit of the green in your lap...what do you do? Do you pay Mr IRS, make a payment on the Visa, settle up at the courthouse, buy your best friend a steak and a case of scotch, and pay him back his life savings? That is what an adult would do...

   You, however, decide that you simply must have that fabulous pair of open-toe, sling-back, fuck-me-like-a-dog-and-call-me-Princess stilettos you saw the other day, only 950 bucks, and aren't they adorable!

Or,

   You and the old lady have been fighting alot lately, but you don't want to break up with her just yet. She does that thing with her tongue that just drives you crazy, and she doesn't mind your admittedly unusual requests in the sack, and besides, if you break up with her, her sister won't fuck you anymore either...so we're going to Vegas, baby, YEAH!

Or,

   You decide to string along Mr IRS, pay the Visa with a new MasterCard, protest the traffic fines just to buy time, and screw the best friend, he was a moron to clean out his account for you - It's time you finally had that boat you always wanted! Besides, you can always get new friends, you charming motherfucker you!

...because you are a self-centered, selfish (not the same thing), thoughtless spoiled fucking child who never learned about those old-fashioned values like honor, commitment, integrity, responsibility, obligation, and loyalty. You are a spoiled brat who shops in the grownup section, but has never learned a truly important lesson in life - how you handle the relationships that make up your personal world defines you as a person, a human being, an adult. Without learning this vital lesson, you will never become anything more than an ignorant, selfish, demanding child, and a burden to all those around you.

Grow the fuck UP!

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