Sunday, July 3, 2011

Fat-ism... Still A-OK in American Society!

    Fat-ism...probably not a real word, but it'll do. We Americans have a long, proud history of speechifying on equality. For several decades now, the number one unforgivable crime has been the display of intolerance. Criticize, denigrate, joke, or simply comment on race, nationality, gender, sexual orientation, even talking about a person wearing glasses or being 3 inches shorter than average, and you are some kind of dirty, no-good bigot. How DARE you, you awful...(racist, sexist, homophobic, misogynistic, whatever the hell)!
   It's OK though, there is still one acceptable target for nasty comments, crude jokes, snide remarks, and condescending, superior smirks. Just find some fat nasty-lookin' bastard, and fire away! Not only is it acceptable, it's encouraged!
   Fat people are nasty, smelly, stupid, sloppy, undisciplined, weak-willed, probably perverted, and may actually have psychotic tendencies. A fat person is automatically deemed to be inferior in most, if not all, categories. Everybody's first impression of a fat person is always negative, always! I will now tell you a secret; We are so programmed to think poorly of fat people, that we even do it to each other. I admit, I confess, when I see some fat fucker waddling down the street, I always think, "Jeezus, look at this sorry lump of shit! How could he allow himself to get like that? Disgusting motherfucker needs to stop eatin' so many cheeseburgers." Then I look again, and I realize, he ain't as fat as I am! But we are so conditioned to despise the fat guy that it is simply automatic. Pretty sad, huh? The MOST intelligent man I ever knew was about 5 foot 7, weighed at least 375, was bald, and had some DAMN ugly teeth. I came to know the man fairly well, and I realized early on, he was a real-life, no bullshit genius, and I still pass judgement based on looks...because that is the way people are.

Advantages of being really fat;

Unlikely to get kidnapped, easy to spot in a group photo, most days a belt is not needed, less likely to be a victim of sexual harassment...

{crickets chirping}

that's pretty much it, the rest of it just flat out sucks, so go ahead and rag on that fatass, nobody will disapprove, I promise!

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